Why Change Feels Hard and What to Do About It

Our brains run on autopilot to save energy. Ever arrived home without remembering the last few blocks? That is your brain in default mode.

The problem is that many of the habits we want to change live in this same unconscious space. When we operate on autopilot, we are not actively choosing our actions or reactions. We are just repeating patterns, whether they serve us or not.

The way out of autopilot is training your brain to notice. That is mindfulness.

Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose. It does not give you total control, but it does give you something just as powerful: the ability to pause, notice what is happening, and choose your next step instead of reacting automatically.

Try this. On your next walk or drive, shift out of autopilot by tuning into specific details. Notice the feel of your feet on the ground or your hands on the wheel. Observe colors, shapes, and movement around you. Listen for sounds you would normally ignore, like distant traffic or birds. The more you engage your senses, the more present you become.

Sounds simple, but you will quickly realize how often your brain tunes out. That is autopilot in action, and mindfulness is what brings you back.

If we want to change our habits—whether they are behaviors, thought patterns, or emotional reactions—we need the right strategies. Research shows that small, consistent steps create lasting change.

The good news is that mindfulness itself can become a habit. Once you have built that foundation, it becomes much easier to apply habit change strategies to other areas of well-being, including sleep, mental health, nutrition, pain management, and relationships.

Why Learn From Me?

At 34, after being laid off, I spiraled into anxiety, depression, and burnout. I was desperate to feel better but did not want to rely on prescription medication, and I was not interested in talk therapy.

That is when I reluctantly tried deep breathing techniques and small mindfulness practices. Honestly, I thought it was ridiculous. But I kept going. To my surprise, it worked.

At the same time, I read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and realized that mindfulness alone was not enough. My ingrained habits were pulling me back into old patterns. Learning how habits work made it easier to integrate mindfulness into my daily life.

Then I picked up A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. That was when I first understood that we all have a voice in our head, and for many of us, it is not very kind. My inner critic was relentless, and for years, I thought it was just me. But this struggle is universal.

I explored Buddhist and Stoic teachings, which showed me that overthinking, self-doubt, comparison, and fear of rejection are not personal flaws. They are part of the human experience. I also learned about attachment theory and trauma responses, which helped me see how past experiences shape our reactions.

Through all of this, I was not just learning new skills. I was learning how my mind actually works. It felt like I was uncovering my own user manual for being a healthier, happier version of myself.

Years later, Atomic Habits by James Clear gave me a framework for making change feel effortless. That combination of mindfulness, habit change, and self-awareness became my foundation for well-being.

At 46, I experienced a concussion. By then, mindfulness was not just something I did. It was part of me. It helped me cope when things were hard, but more importantly, it gave me the tools to heal without getting lost in suffering.

That is why I teach this. Not because I read about it, but because I lived it.

Professionally, I spent over a decade managing public relations in the high-stress video game industry. Later, I worked for 10 years as a health educator and massage therapist, helping people manage stress and recover from injuries. Since 2022, I have managed training programs at the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion, where research teams study how mindfulness improves health outcomes. I am also a certified teacher of the Introducing Mindfulness program, one of the most researched mindfulness programs in healthcare settings.

Mindfulness alone is not enough. Science explains why our brains get stuck. Habit change helps us rewire patterns. Philosophy and psychology teach us how to navigate life’s emotional challenges with more resilience.

I want to help you cut through the noise, understand what actually works, and create your own user manual for living a life that feels balanced and sustainable. If you are ready to get started, I would love to be your guide.

What’s Next?

There is so much valuable information out there about mindfulness, habit change, and , from podcasts and apps to books and research, but it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. I have spent 15 years organizing the best of it and am excited to make it clear, accessible, and actionable for you.

We will start with mindfulness and habit change as the foundation.

Ready to begin? Choose from the two options below and let’s take this step forward together.